My Confession of Mass Murder


I am a murderer. In fact, I have taking so many lives that I could not possibly count them all. There have been times I have stalked my victims, times I have used chemical warfare and even times I have killed entire families. Sounds horrible and disturbing to you but alas it is all true. If there was a slight chance that God existed, I would most likely be spending eternity in Hell since I have broken the Commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Kill” (5th, 6th or 7th depending on which book you are reading). I have broken this commandment numerous times and don’t have the slightest ounce of remorse for doing so.

Why I am Confessing

The recent title for The Sucka’ Chumps Podcast has struck a few nerves. How To Commit Murder Legally focused on the recent trial of George Zimmerman regarding his role in the death of Trayvon Martin. We recorded the show the day after he had been found not guilty by a jury of his peers. I felt it was important to note that he had just committed murder legally. In order to understand what I mean by that, you should know that I believe murder is the act of taking a life.

Murder is a Word

It is a word to describe an act. In the dictionary, it is defined as “An unlawful act of taking a life”. According to the little black book that keeps getting thrown in my face, one of God’s laws is “Thou Shalt Not Kill”. To quote the dictionary again, the word kill is defined as “Cause the death of (a person, animal, or other living thing).” Using the words the people with the black book seem to be living by, killing is unlawful. Therefore, Causing the death of another living creature is murder.

Murder as a word strikes the hearts of people differently than other words. The end result of each of these is the same.

Homicide, Slay, Slaughter, Destroy, Assassinate, Extinguish, Neutralize, Dispatch, Sacrifice and even Erase are other words that describe the act of taking a life. Notice the subtlety of some of these. Those are used daily to describe the same thing as the word murder does but does not always get the same response.

Why I Kill

I must point out that it is mainly an instinct. I have only killed for pleasure a handful of times. Taking life is not something I find pleasure in nor do I thank a higher power for letting me do so. My victims are just at the wrong place at the right time. Sometimes they are somewhere I don’t want them to be so I use my sense of righteousness to eliminate them from the land of the living. In my eyes, they are nothing more than insignificant creatures that should be destroyed.

I have literally used my might to remove entire villages off this planet, murder their entire army and destroy any chance of them rebuilding their society by obliterating their infrastructures. I have invaded their homes, assassinated their leaders, destroyed their nurseries along with the babies inside them. and used methods of torture simply to prolong their pending doom.

Yet, I am NOT a Monster

Why not? For all of the horrible things I have done, I will never be prosecuted, face a jury of my peers or even questioned by the authorities. According to the common religious philosophy, all I need to do is ask for forgiveness to the invisible guy in the sky and all will be good again. According to the law, I have done nothing wrong.

The Reason

I have never taken a human life. The lives I have taken are not human at all. According to society, the “Thou Shalt Not Kill” rule is only in regards to the lives of humans. Anything else on this little blue green rock we call home is up for debate.

That mosquito that keeps buzzing around your ear can die. The ants living in your yard are allowed to be extinguished. It is ok to neutralize the gopher family that is causing damage to your carefully manicured lawn. Yanking that carrot from the ground, chopping its life giving root into tiny bits, and then pouring the carefully massacred parts into a boiling liquid is ok.

They don’t count, they’re not human.

This double standard is why I will never be prosecuted for my crimes. It is also one of the many reason I do not have a religious bone in my body.

Murder is Murder

I can sit before this screen and type my confession of being a mass murderer without a guilty conscience. Society has shown that humans are allowed to murder with justification. Whether it is a nonhuman creature, an act of self defense or a village amidst a war zone, it doesn’t have to be a good reason, just a justifiable one. I felt justified with every act of murder that I committed on the innocent creatures I annihilated.

I’m pretty sure those creatures did not feel the same way.

Random Crap

Leave a Reply